Learning for Free

 (Image: Sue Blackwell)

Have you heard of MOOCs? (mass open online courses)

After leaving University two years ago, although I certainly do not miss the stress of the University system, I do miss learning as efficiently and effectively as I did when I was in school. But being where I live - oftentimes furthur education is impossible to find.

Enter the MOOC. A MOOC is an online course - usually University level or higher, offered for free! That's right - free knowledge! How awesome is that?

At the moment, I'm taking a design course - Design: Creation of Artifacts in our Society, run by Karl Ulrich of the University of Pennsylvania. It's amazing! And there's a HUGE list of courses avaliable - just check out this website for a TON of different courses.

Here are a few more that interest me (and consequently, I have signed up for) - check them out!

- Art: Concepts and Techniques
- Latin American Culture
-Fantasy and Science Fiction: The Human Mind, Our Modern World
- Online Games: Literature, New Media and Narrative

Would you consider ever taking a MOOC? Have you ever taken one? Are you signed up for any of the ones I'm in? Let me know! I want to hear about your experiences (and/or excitement!) 

EDIT (May 9th): Oh, I forgot to add - if you want to check out my process blog - I'm designing a sketchbook/tool for creatives. It's kind of fascinating - give it a peek here, if you'd like. 

Seeding spring...

Source: call-me-cupcake.blogspot.com via Melissa on Pinterest

So it's been a while.

And as spring begins to turn where I live (Canada - serves me right for my choice in locale...) I really am beginning to re-evaluate this blog and where I stand with everything. Things are changing, both outside of me and inside.

I have big, big plans for the next few months. Plans that I don't have completely solidified in my head yet, but plans that I wanted to share on here (for accountability's sake). The seeds of a new beginning, if you will.

This blog is going to be going through some serious overhauling in the next while - so I ask all of my lovely, lovely readers to please be patient! I really, truly hope that the changes will make my blog even more awesome and an even better space for all of you!

In the meantime, the Boyfriend and I have decided to embark on a juice cleanse. I feel amazing (but holy cow - the cravingsss) after the first day!!

Here's to new beginnings and sowing the seeds of great things - I hope you will stick around for the ride!

♥Mel

TEDucation: How to get your ideas to spread

One of my goals this year was to start each week off with a TED talk. I'm hoping this will allow me to watch some of the less-known talks, and really stretch my mind and fill it with positive energy that listening to brilliant minds can bring. At the end of each video, I'll post a couple of questions I found intriguing. Feel free to discuss them in the comments, or just carry them in your mind after watching the video. 

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Oh Seth Godin.  Humour and insight go great together - and this talk does it perfectly. If you're going to take one idea away from this talk, I think it's this: Ideas that spread win. Hopefully your ideas - whatever they are, can stand out and spread!

So question time!

I want to know your 'purple cows'. What kinds of things do you do, create, own, etc, that are 100% unique? What makes you stand out? I really want to know!

When you hit me on the head, my eyes twitch without fail (clearly I deserve a circus act for this brilliant physical feat). My multitude of creative avenues influence each other in ways that normal artists don't seem to look at. My ability to make creative solutions are almost always purple cows. 

What about you? Tell me in the comments!

How to Be a Fat Bitch - Part 3: Seeing Beauty in Fat Bodies

So the latest assignment on How to Be a Fat Bitch is based around seeing beauty in fat bodies. So please, enjoy pictures of awesome, amazing fatties (many of which I swiped from Lookbook.nu) while I rant about body image and society. 

First off, I'd like to direct all of you to a post I wrote about long, long, looong ago on fat-activism blogs and my relationship with them. I still get warm fuzzies when I read it – so you should read it too.

When I first started getting involved in the fat activism community, I was fully convinced that my body was the most abhorrent, ugly thing in the world. I was sure that I fit in with the other shapeless, face-less fatties that news reports always showed. I honestly and truly believed that because of my shape and size, I was unlovable, unsuccessful and a complete and that there was nobody struggling with the same issue – I was the fatty in a world of skinny people.

 (Nadia Aboulhosn)

And I mean – why shouldn't I? We all live in a world where society tells people – especially women, that our bodies are public property. Our bodies are our ultimate 'pass or fail' mark. If you don't fit in with the mould society has made for you and your body, your whole value and worth as a human being are put in to contested territory. The media also does a great job of keeping fat bodies OUT of our daily lives. When's the last time you opened a magazine and saw an awesome fat girl doing...well...anything?

Now – I fell for that. For a very long time. I missed out on a lot of living because of it. I wouldn't go swimming – lest someone see my ugly rolls through my awful one-piece swimsuit. I hid under layers and layers of clothing that hid my figure and inhibited my freedom. I let go of a dream I had held on to for so long – being a dancer. I refused to wear shorts – instead hiding under jeans even in sweltering heat.

 (OD R)

And every time I saw a fat body depicted, anywhere, I flinched and looked away. How shameful. How awful. How ugly and evil and scary...

Media in today's society does very little to encourage women, young and old, to accept fat bodies. In fact, more often than not fat people are demonized, stereotyped and fit in to the most cliche'd of tropes. We're offered very little more than 'the funny one' or 'that fat chick' – we're not human, we're fodder for the aspirations and agendas of skinny people. 

 (Audrey G)

I was floored when I watched Raven Symone on That's So Raven. A fat girl having her own show – it floored me. I let out a yelp of glee when Adele came on the scene, unashamed of her body and refusing to let the trolls in media make her feel otherwise. Seeing Melissa McCarthy on Gilmore Girls be a character despite her weight – so much love.

Soon I turned to other arenas - one of the biggest being tumblr. There is a whole community of awesome fat girls and gents doing so many awesome things. Redefining fashion - an industry that has for so long excluded fatties, to suit themselves. Speaking up on issues affecting fatties. Targetting the trolls and questioning and challenging the once previously believed 'facts' on fat. Taking pictures of their naked bodies as acts of acceptance and love. 

 (Blast from the past!!)

I began to realize that, no, I wasn't the only fat girl on the planet – in fact, there were scads of us. I took a life drawing course and drew a beautiful fat woman over and over again. I began to read fat-positive blogs, I discovered the word 'Fatsion'. I connected with and began communicating with all sorts of fatties from all around the world – ladies from all walks of life, all different situations – connecting because of the very thing that has set us back for so many years. I began taking pictures of myself again, losing layers of clothing, wearing fatkinis, eating out and laughing louder.

But you know what the biggest change was? I suddenly wasn't afraid of fat bodies anymore.

You see, once we refuse to let the world cloister us behind layers of clothing, hide us away in closets and media blackouts, we begin to truly see ourselves. We begin to accept that, hey, maybe fat people are human. Maybe fat bodies are *gasp, attractive, beautiful, worth something more than just fetishes and jokes. 

 (Madison D)

When we make fat something that can be talked about, something that can be seen, we begin to heal. We begin to connect. We begin to gain back the confidence we lost through years of targeted hate.

And now that that's begun – look out world. You're going to be seeing fatkinis and awesome fat bitches everywhere, whether you like it or not! So please, fat people of the world, quit hiding. You are more than a faceless body - you are worthy of beauty and love! Get out in to the world and take up the space you deserve. 

Because the world needs to see you.

(Arlie S)

What I'm Playing: Minecraft

Have you heard of Minecraft before? If you haven't yet - let me introduce you to one of the best games you'll ever play. Simply put: Minecraft is like legos, but way, wayyyy more fun. You are a character in a block-world. Everything is made of squares. Yes, everything. Sand, grass, trees, cows, flowers, clouds – they're all squares. You can destroy squares, add squares, craft squares in to other squares. You can explore the worlds – every single world is different, and has the potential to be infinite (I haven't been keeping up to date, but there are projects of people trying to find out how far a single minecraft map will go. I don't think they've found an end yet). 

Everything and everything is customizable - and when I say everything, I mean absolutely everything. You can change how your character looks, how the game looks, what kinds of blocks appear or don't appear, what kinds of people or animals appear...the list goes on and on.

The game just keeps getting better, too. The team who developed the software constantly updates and improves the game at least 3 times a year. And there are so many mysteries to each and every world you play – the fact that every single one is unique really makes each game different. And it's just so cool to think that the world you're playing on is 100% uniquely yours (although you can also collect what's called a 'seed' for every generated – almost like a name tag of sorts, your world's unique identity. This allows other people to generate the same world as you)

There are bad guys you can beat up and flee in terror from. Or you can play peacefully and hang out with flocks of sheep, chickens, cows and pigs. You can play by yourself, or with other people. You can add different codes and programs that change the way you can play the game (some of these are REALLY cool!) or you can play without them.

Basically – it's the best game. Ever. And it's extremely addicting.

I would describe it more for you – but minecraft has to be experienced to really understand how to play it. Try the free trial and see what you think about it. It takes a bit of getting used to, but I'm pretty sure everyone and anyone can play and enjoy minecraft. 

Check out the website here, and if you're interested, give the forums and the wikia a peek too. They're great sources for inspiration and information. 

You can thank me later.

 (last 3 images credit to the amazing builders of the Kingdom of Tradlund - check it out - it's one of my favourite builds)

Spring Colour Palette

It's still not looking like spring where I am - but a girl can dream, right? Lately I've been torn between two sets of colours - both really reminding me of spring.

Here's what I've got on my mind for spring - two very different, but very spring-y palettes. I'm hoping to find lots of them once things start melting and blooming...

Words from my Buppa

I call my Grandpa 'Buppa' – apparently my mom was trying to get me to say “Opa” – which is German for Grandpa – but I had a penchant for 'Bu' more than “O”. It stuck. Whenever I'm in need of motivation, a gentle confirmation, or some support, he's my go-to man.

I asked him a long while ago if he'd fill out some questions for my blog. I gave him a sheet full of options – thinking that he'd pick the best answers. He certainly did. There is simple wisdom in his words – all handwritten on a piece of graph-paper, short and sweet. I hold them dear to my heart – and I hope you take something from them, too.

What is one thing that you regret not doing?

One thing that I regret is the fact that because of financial restrictions at the time, the option to furthur my education was not possible. But I do not regret the opportunity that was avaliable to me – I was able to find employment in a field I enjoyed.

What is the difference between talent and skill?

In my opinion, the difference between talent and skill is this: A person can be a very talented person in many ways such as being an excellent musician, sports player, dancer, or any good subject. But the skill aspect of talent, the essence of true talent and skill - would be to be able teach a person how to become a better performer using their talent.

How do you feel about today’s society?

My feelings towards today’s society are that people are being too rushed in their daily living. Also we suffer from too high expectations - expectations mainly caused by computerized technology.

How do you relax?

I relax by reading good western novels and watching sports on TV.

I love you, Buppa.♥

How to be a fat bitch - Part two: Reclaim the word 'Fat'

Hello - my name is Fat ♥.

I'm a little late for this lesson in How to be a Fat Bitch (okay – like 3 or 4 weeks late - oops). I really struggled with this exercise – but after my womanifesto, I've decided I really can't afford to hold back. This is a sort of fatifesto - a topic I could write for ages on. I've compiled a lot of my feelings in to one post - I'll let the work speak for itself.***

Fat. Until I was six, I was Melissa. I was that silly little girl who was always covered in mud and never liked to wear clothes (some habits you never shake, I guess...). I was good at art and dancing and was always really really nice.

Then, suddenly, I became fat.

A girl sneered at me, finger crooked in my direction, yelling the word at me like a harpoon, and laughter erupted across the classroom. The sense of shame and guilt that the word carried...I understood it even at the age of six.

It felt dehumanizing. Suddenly I wasn't Melissa – I was That Fat Girl, Fatty, Whale, Your Fatness, Ugly – I gained a veritable encyclopedia of new names – awful ones. When you're different, especially if you're fat, you lose your name, your thoughts, your worth, your very identity. You become fat. And fat, to the people using it as a weapon against you, is nuclear-grade awful.

I spent my entire childhood avoiding that word.

Mom never kept a scale. I'd go to friends houses to weigh myself. 68 pounds. 89 pounds. 100 pounds. 150 pounds. My life suddenly inflated and deflated with my body's rhythms. Although it mostly deflated as my body seemingly inflated.

Every time I heard that word – fat – it felt as though my world was ending. It was the ultimate weapon against me. Shame and guilt and fear of rejection can do some serious damage, especially when they're used against you while you're forming your very understanding of the world around you.

I spent my entire teenage years trying to avoid that word.
That damn word that caused me so so much pain.

All my faults, all my mistakes and failures, were blamed on my fat. She'd be so pretty if she wasn't so big. So fat. Move over fatass – you're blocking my view. Fat. Guys don't like you because you're fat. If only you'd drop a few pounds. Get in to shape now with this new weight loss breakthrough. Don't you know it's bad for you, carrying around all that extra weight?

Until a few years ago a crippling anxiety began growing over me and my relationship to fat, growing as I went through high school. Fat became a crisis. A Universal Health Risk. Obesity. Suddenly the word that had tortured me my entire life was accepted more, under the mask of 'science' and a new breed of hatred followed. Anxiety took over. I started counting calories. I started wondering whether the lunch I ate really had value staying in my stomach. I started thinking that maybe if I stopped eating – replacing food with this or that, I could kill this demon following me.

Until a few years ago, I had an eating disorder that doctors wouldn't diagnose because I am fat. Again, that word. That bias. That hatred.I've had to navigate the waters of recovery on my own because of the power of that word.

That damn word has defined me and my relationship towards my body for too long. It's haunted me and chased me like some kind of ghost out of one of those creepy as hell horror movies. All white faced and thin – just like the media wants me. Another nicely fitting peg to slide in to the mould and leave. Another shadow of the person they could be floating around - at least they're skinny, though, right?

No more. 

Yes, world. I am fat. Fat. You hear me? That word you've used as a weapon against me, that word that has tied me down, quieted me, ordered me to take up less space than I do – as if you even had the right to demand that of me!

I am fat. I am healthy. I am wonderful. I am a freakin' human being and being FAT does not make me any less than you. I will take up as much space as I damn please, and I refuse to let your hateful words define me any more. I'm taking this word and I am making it mine. I'm covering it in glitter and dancing with it.

So next time you try to tell me I'm fat – I'll laugh. I'll say 'You bet' and dance my fat ass away from you. Because I'm wonderful. And I will not live the rest of my life hating the body I live in because seeing a happy, healthy fat person makes you uncomfortable (get over it). Because our society defines a woman's worth by her ability to match the very, very narrow standard of beauty (I'm sick of it). I will not live in a society that demonizes people for the space they take up (there's enough space for everyone).

I'm happy, healthy, human - and, yes, fat! Get over it and accept it. Because I am – finally.

***I would also just like to point out that this is the first time I've actually shared pictures of myself on this blog. And these are the first pictures in a long time where I actually do feel pretty darn gorgeous...

Late Night Thoughts

I'm at a point where I'm a little bit lost.

There are a few things in my life right now that are slowly draining away - threatening to disappear forever. I know it's foolish of me to cling to them - nothing in the world is permanent, but I can't help feeling a bit betrayed by life right now. And maybe a little tiny bit sad.

Okay, maybe a lot sad.

And with that, all the things that I had 'planned' - all the things I was so sure about, suddenly crumble away. Suddenly the routines I've been working hard to develop seem to disappear in to thin air.

Grief is hard. It's hard, it hurts, and it's not something anyone can tell you how to do right or wrong - you have to do what works for you. And I guess that's what I'm trying to do - I keep waiting for the feelings to go away - when I think I really need to just start learning how to work with them instead.

I have no idea right now. And yet - I can't help but feel like I'm on to something. On the verge of discovering something amazing.

The thrill of the unknown, untread path winding in to darkness before me. And maybe - just maybe that's where all these feelings are leading.

I'm choosing to believe that - because it's the only thing I've got right now.

We become what we believe - and I can't allow myself to become something borne out of sadness and pain.

So... here I am, and here I go.

TEDucation: Trapped in a 'filter bubble'

One of my goals this year was to start each week off with a TED talk. I'm hoping this will allow me to watch some of the less-known talks, and really stretch my mind and fill it with positive energy that listening to brilliant minds can bring. At the end of each video, I'll post a couple of questions I found intriguing. Feel free to discuss them in the comments, or just carry them in your mind after watching the video. 

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So I'm marking the new chapter of my 'media-aware' series with a TED talk of a similar vein of interest. I find this talk fascinating (and it's short - watch it on your lunch break!) - I've noticed a real shift in a lot of my searches and newsfeeds over the past few years. Now I understand why this has happened. Check it out:



I don't have questions for you this week, but a CHALLENGE.  

This week - make an effort to read something that really challenges you.

Try and step away from the 'media junk food' that google and facebook (and everything else) are trying to feed you. If you're looking for some places to start, try clicking a few links on feministing's weekly readers, or shakesvilles twice-weekly blogarounds (I've linked to the most recent ones - feel free to browse and find more!). I chose to read this post about the power of the covered face.

TEDucation: The Art of Asking

One of my goals this year was to start each week off with a TED talk. I'm hoping this will allow me to watch some of the less-known talks, and really stretch my mind and fill it with positive energy that listening to brilliant minds can bring. At the end of each video, I'll post a couple of questions I found intriguing. Feel free to discuss them in the comments, or just carry them in your mind after watching the video. 

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How great was that?

This talk really spoke to me, Amanda Palmer's experience as a street performer reflect a lot of the feelings I experience as an artist. It can really hurt when someone reacts in a hostile way to your creative work, but it can also really mean the world to make a genuine connection with someone through your work. And I totally agree - we need more connections.

So my questions for you this week are these:

1. How do you react when you recieve soul-crushingly negative criticism? 
2. What's one thing you do to ease the pain of it?
3. Have you ever made a genuine connection with someone through art (or whatever else you do) in the same way Amanda puts it in her talk? I want to hear about it! 

--

1+2. The most common way I react to harsh, unfounded criticism are either to mope about it, or to laugh it off - let it out, regardless of how you feel. This gets more and more important the worse the criticism stings. I've been known to draw the occasional charicature, or mocking impersonation. Don't deny yourself the feelings of sadness - but do NOT allow yourself to feel inadequate or like a failure. Criticism can either break you down, or build you up higher than you've been before. Use it to grow - at worst, you can look down at the haters from the beautiful things you've created.

3. I'm planning a whole post about this question - but yes, I have. A few times. And it's one of the most magical things in the world.

Instead of feeling bad about your body...

Source: living-moon.tumblr.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Here are 100 ways to get out of that funk and start practicing some self-love. Take a deep breath and try any or all of these!

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Go for a walk ♥ Stretch it out ♥ Dance around wildly (undies and hairbrush are optional, but encouraged) ♥ Draw hearts all over it ♥ Trace your stretchmarks ♥ Look at some beautiful fat bodies ♥ Sketch some humans ♥ Get a massage ♥ Put on some red lipstick ♥ Paint your nails ♥ Throw some confetti ♥ Take a long bath ♥ Watch the clouds ♥ Sing as loudly as you can ♥ Make something beautiful ♥ Laugh until you cry ♥ Make a snow angel ♥ Read your horoscope ♥ Watch something ridiculous ♥ Play a great game ♥ Bake a cake ♥ Eat a cake ♥ Put on some perfume ♥ Try out a new outfit ♥ Help someone else ♥ Smile ♥ Say something positive ♥ Talk to yourself in the mirror ♥ Turn off the TV ♥ Listen to some happy music ♥ Clean up a space that needs attention ♥ Water plants ♥ Make a bird feeder ♥ Add sparkles to something ♥ Wear some silly socks ♥ Snuggle in to your favourite outfit ♥ Get a hug ♥ Sing all the words to this (I know you know it) ♥ Read a book ♥ Read this book ♥ Have some tea ♥ Give yourself a hug ♥ Play with a cat ♥ Watch this cat ♥ Make up a stupid costume ♥ Light a candle ♥ Wash your face ♥ Learn 10 words in a new language ♥ Make a collage ♥ Take some pictures ♥ Go to a store and pick out paint chips ♥ Make some paper stars ♥ Soak up some sunlight ♥ Pick some flowers ♥ Say 3 nice things about yourself ♥ Take a nap ♥ Write down ten bad thoughts, then destroy the paper ♥ Smudge ♥ Journal ♥ Say a prayer ♥ Donate 5 dollars to a charity of your choice ♥ Tell someone else they're beautiful ♥ Write a letter ♥ Call an old friend ♥ Call or talk to your mom ♥ Paint something (and get messy) ♥ Make a pinata ♥ Watch a TED talk ♥ Hug a tree ♥ Bake some cookies ♥ Give some cookies to someone who needs them ♥ Learn to do a cartwheel ♥ Learn to knit or crochet ♥ Make some button flowers ♥ Write down 10 things you're thankful for ♥ Write a letter to your body ♥ Draw a self-portrait ♥ Unplug ♥ Paint your toe nails ♥ Wear your favourite undies ♥ Watch the stars ♥ See the sun set or rise ♥ Catch raindrops or snowflakes on your tongue ♥ Play in leaves ♥ Build a blanket fort ♥ Read SARK ♥ Make some guerilla art ♥ Decorate your shoes ♥ Write a poem ♥ Make a funky t-shirt ♥ Look at your fingerprints (so cool) ♥ Try henna-ing your hair ♥ Read a kid's book ♥ Visit someone ♥ Rearrange your clothes ♥ Listen to some classical music ♥ Watch some people ♥ Read some body positive blogs ♥ Write out your feelings ♥ Try this yoga move